Wed, Jun. 15th, 2005, 09:21 am
m e = L A M E
ugh. these past two days have been horrible. i know it has only been two days since i've seen her but i really do miss her terribly. it really does suck... i've been a downer the past two days around my friends and i'm sorry for that. i'm so emo right now(lame). this may be dumb but i can't help but think that maybe she has found someone and it hurts to think that. i haven't really talked to her in the past 24 hours and i don't know
why i'm kind of freaking out.
i haven't not? talked to her for more than a day since we've been going out and its just weird. i'm not use to it or something. this is really becoming lame. i know i'm making a big thing out of nothing but i cannot help but do so. i've never liked someone as much as i do. ugh. i don't know why i'm saying all of this. when i finally talked to her last night she seemed all happy and (i know this sounds dumb) it just made me feel stupid because i've been missing her all day and she just so happens to fall asleep all day which may or may not be true and it just seemed like she didn't care. and then that started making me think that maybe she is better off without me.
better off without me.
i don't know what i would do... she seems to be doing better with her family now that she can't talk to me. fucking this shit is so gay. i keep thinking i'm going to stop writing in this stupid shit but i just keep going with my emo self. i really am not emo tho, dont get that wrong. its just everyone(mostly) goes through some EMOtional time. i'd rather talk to myself than try to talk to someone who most likely won't care or make things better. fuck im through with talking about nothing.
i a r e l a m e
Mon, Jun. 13th, 2005, 10:38 am
yep. well it sure has been awhile since i've updated this dumb thing. hm well the first thing i prob should do is update everyone on how things are going on in the life of, well, myself. things aren't going that well. the biggest thing that is not going too well is that i won't be able to talk to my girlfriend for a while. i don't feel like going into any detail because its none of your buisness but anyways. it sucks so much and i miss her terribly even though it has only been like 3 days. the band is going alright. we are kind of going nowhere fast. my friends...my friends. things have been getting weirded out(what does this even mean? dont ask). i think its mainly because of me but i have been very irratable lately, mainly because of the things going on with my girlfriend. i've been hanging out with jeff a lot lately. i've been hanging out with martinez more than usual but it has been pretty bad ass. he's a awesome friend. all of my friends/bandmates are awesome. i've just been in weird moods and prob talk about my girlfriend too much.i do miss her so much and she is all i think about. why the fuck do i feel the need to let people know about my life nonetheless make my life public. yeah. expect this to get deleted sometime soon. it is quite pointless coming from a pointless guy.
Tue, Mar. 29th, 2005, 01:37 pm
lmao. well i was just getting home from smoking a joint and when im at my door some cheba hut delivery guy comes up to me and hands me a menu and some coupons. i guess he was delivering to my neighbor and saw me but i thought it was very funny. me being high and all and him being from cheba hut. coincidence????? I THINK NOT or something. that is all.
Mon, Mar. 28th, 2005, 10:17 pm
um i think i like you but you prob dont like me. i was just letting you know tho.
Fri, Mar. 25th, 2005, 01:18 am
well tonight was pretty awesome. i hung out with Alex, brandi, and dan. well at first me and alex watched the yellow submarine at my house and then we went to dan's baseball game and hung out with brandi. then i had to take Alex home because she had to go to some cheer practice or something. after that me and dan went to brandi's and then alex came over and we went to tempe town lake. me and alex walked from mill to scottsdale road along the lake. it was nice. she makes me feel happy. the only thing that sucked was that it rained and was really windy. other than that, things were good. i enjoy hanging out with my friends. thatd be cool if me and alex become more that just friends. good night.
Wed, Mar. 16th, 2005, 01:09 pm
heh im a loser but at least i know im a loser. drank last night and went t.p.ing. that was cool. drank last night. that is all that mattered. yep.
Tue, Mar. 15th, 2005, 04:28 am
uh. its 415 and im tired. i hate writing in these things. whatever. yep. this week has been pretty cool eventho my goal was to get drunk every night but thats ok. met a very awesome girl 2 days ago and we've been hanging out at parks and just driving around until 2 o'clock in the a.m. hopefully there are some parties coming up. spring breakkkk.... yea its pretty good so far. i took some rits today and idk, i was feeling really shitty when i was coming down. i think i need to lay off of them, oh well.yea they made work shitty. i felt like i was going to puke. other than that, things have been good. uh i finally saw star wars episodes 4 and 5. i plan on watching 6 tmrrw. that should be cool, i guess. um. i think thats it? oh yea, i neeed to remind myself to apply to some colleges and fill the rest of my FAFSA form. blah. i am sooooooooooOoOOo fcking behind on all of that college stuff. i guess i dont want to go to college or whatever. i dont think im ready. yea thats dumb and i need to stop procrastinating but its just too easy to not think about that stuff. 2 1/2 more months? untill graduation and it sucks. i have b's in my classes and i think i want to take a break from school. my dad would flip if i did that but idk. i am just rambling now. are you happy tasha? i wrote all of this because you told me to and you are the first to know what my lj is. you are just that cool.
Sat, Jan. 3rd, 2004, 01:28 am